Satisfaction (?) For Sale

As I type, thunder rumbles above. You shouldn't work on the computer when there's a thunderstorm, so I guess I'm taking my life in my hands by posting now. I'm actually taking a risk! I'm not getting any perverse thrill out of it, either.

Pumpkin brought up something this weekend that I'm having a hard time shaking. I've never bought anything for fun. Never. I'm talking something like a big ticket item, not about grabbing a Twix bar at the checkout aisle. Pumpkin used to be the type that would buy something if she wanted to, and deal with how much it was setting her back later. These days, most of her concern is with her monthly car payment. The car was a fun purchase for her. Empowering, even. Still, it's equal to 60 "really fun" purchases a month.

About the only thing I have that could be considered a fun purchase is my 56-inch TV. It's gorgeous. It dominates the living room, and is probably bigger than the room allows. I was endorsing an electronics store at the time I bought it, and paid for it with a combination of gift cards and money paid by the endorser. It really didn't cost me anything. Thus, not fun.

My computer is a necessity and was only purchased after the one that I owned for six years had wheezed its last breath. I can't really count it as a fun purchase.

My car? Back in 1999, Nissan supplied me with a 2000 Maxima to drive around in for 45 days. I had the option to buy at the end of that time period. I didn't even have to talk about it on the station, just drive it. At the end of the period, I bought it instead of going back to my old Buick Century that has just passed the 160 thousand mile mark. I'm not the type that thinks that a car can be considered a "fun" purchase, not when there were 60 payments attached to it. The level of fun drops exponentially with each payment.

The house? Obviously a necessity. Pumpkin and I were on the road to matrimonial independence, and renting seemed to go against that grain.

Looking around the house, I don't see anything else (of mine) that I bought for fun. The interesting things that make our house unique were suggested by or purchased by pumpkin. Her decorating touch has saved this house from resembling my college dorm room, circa 1985. Why don't I buy things? Even back when I was making more money I shied away from purchases. I can tell you I have exactly $40 in my wallet, and I hope to make that last until Saturday. Is this a disorder? I guess I'm just terrified of having nothing....yet I never buy anything! Wouldn't it make more sense if I bought stuff to ensure that I would always have something?

Raining now down here. My afternoon drive might be more eventful than I like. Ok, it stopped. Nope, still going.

I want a laptop. I want a killer grill (preferably a charcoal/gas combo). I want a nice little gazebo for the back yard, so we can use our killer grill. I want a brand new shower head. I want marble countertops. I want digital cable in all the rooms. I want 2-3 more dogs. I want more nice clothes. See, I want stuff like anyone else. I just don't need it to be happy, I guess. Still, I'd like to see for myself if that's true. I really can't be easy to live with.