Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Wistful Thinking

Just getting back from walking the dog. It's the first time in months that I didn't need to wear a jacket at this time of day. It's the type of day where you wish the temperature would just hold right where it is, but the sting of the sun on your face tells you otherwise. Gonna got hot. 95 degrees hot, and there's nothing we can do to stop it. For whatever reason, the conditions of the day reminded me of not having a job. Today's the type of day I most associate with being unemployed. A beautiful morning that leads to a hot afternoon. A day of endless possibilities and a feeling of confidence that masks full-scale panic

If there's any other proof needed about the dangers of nostalgia, it's that I sometimes miss being unemployed. Maybe I'm feeling like that because it's Wednesday, the day where $336 would be deposited into my unemployment account, like clockwork. I miss the freedom of not knowing what I'm going to do that day. Nothing was out of the question. I could watch movies with the dog, gamble a little bit, have a cocktail and watch the world go by, sit on my patio and read, meet Pumpkin for lunch, blog...and do it all again tomorrow. Mind you, all of this was done to keep me from thinking that I might not find another radio gig and be forced to leave town. Still, those weren't bad times.

There's uncertainty in staying employed these days, just as there was being unemployed. It's just not as much fun.

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