What is more stressful....to work, or NOT to work? I've been out of a job now for close to six months. Wise investing and an almost psychotic penchant to save have kept my wife and I afloat. I'm able to work again in the broadcast community on June 3rd. Today, I'm stressed out on two ends:
1) What if I don't find what I'm looking for here in Las Vegas? Do we move? Do I settle for something not in my field and stay here, just so we have some stability (not to mention a second income) on the home front? That's Stress Factor #1
2) What if I do get something and I'm back in broadcast business? Last week's Academy of Country Music Awards show in Las Vegas brought back some not so pleasant memories of all the b.s. we would go through in the weeks leading up to the show. I really didn't mind being on the sidelines this time around. You wouldn't believe how much bull goes on behind the scenes of a radio station. Stunning.
Hence, the conundrum. I feel increasingly useless sitting on the sidelines, which increases my stress level. Still, it's automatic that wherever I return to work, there will be new pressures and stresses all their own. Which is the lesser of two evils? My incredibly understanding wife has told me (half-jokingly, I think) that she's not looking forward to me going back to work because I'm handling all the house cleaning now. Vacuuming and dusting await today. Still, I'm not sure how to take her. She says she's not panicked about the situation, and that whatever happens happens. I don't know if she really wants to let on how she's feeling because she knows that will already heighten what existing stress level I have.
I think those that slave away on a daily basis are envious on my current situation as dog walker, dishwasher, cook, and general all -around handyman. After all, we work so we can earn enough money so that we don't have to work. Funny how for most of us, getting away from work life is the actual goal of the job itself. I'm just really confused today. I'm trying to be happy and optimistic, but the stress won't let me.
Back to work. Dust never sleeps.