Please Stand By

Like a musical artist who has a ton of demo recordings stored somewhere, I've got so much stuff rattling around my head I just have to get it out. It's coming. Believe me, it's coming.

Then again, when those long-lost demos get released it becomes clearly apparent why they were never released in the first place, so maybe it's best to stay quiet.

Nah. New entry by week's end, I promise

Cleaning the Attic III

I should really be at the gym. 30 minutes on the treadmill. Maybe 45. Instead, I'm looking at what appears to be an intoxicated Harry Connick warbling "Close to You" on the Ellen show, with the rabble lapping it up. I'm now to the point where I risk more injury by going to the gym and lifting a weight than by staying and home and lifting the remote. It's been awhile since I've done this so please pardon me while I serve up there innocuous observations;

To the argument that their can be no good news reported without a steaming pile of feces being dumped upon it: GOOD NEWS: Burglaries are down nationwide, by double digits in some areas. BAD NEWS: "They" surmise it's because there are more jobless, and these jobless are staying home. Thus, it's less tempting to the burglar. Why, then, would those of us with jobs want the recession to end? I'm not going to want to be held responsible for supporting a nationwide crime wave.

I'm not sure what product they're advertising, but there's a spot that focuses on a family called the Buttertons. Clever. They're presented in black and white, "Leave it To Beaver" -style. The woman does all the cooking and does so with (gasp) real butter, oils, and ungodly amounts of fat. The problem is that the Buttertons have a normal body weight. Mom, Dad and son look like they all have normal BMIs, in spite of the fact they're consuming lethal amounts of dairy. In contrast, the people (filmed in color) who are using the advertised product are slightly overweight. I don't think the point of a commercial is to get you to use the exact opposite of the product that's being advertised, so in this case I have to salute the makers of the ad for getting it so wrong. Pity that I can't remember the products, which also is a sign of how ineffective the spot is.

My dog loves Golden Grahams cereal.

As soon as we stop treating schools and the military like social experiments, we'll be much better off. Both are jobs, places of employment. Are far as schools go, let's just hear that kids (no, not yours. Yours are brilliant) aren't as smart as they used to be and move on. That would be my first statement as superintendent.

I don't understand the phrase "help people help themselves". Is that even possible?

Heard from a guy today who was griping that Las Vegas' growth should be curtailed. Interestingly enough, the gentleman lived on Flamingo and Hualapai, in a comfortable home that's four years that only exists because of the expansion he despises. Hypocrites tend to skew older.

Safeway's generic diet cola is just as good, if not better, than Diet Pepsi or Diet Coke, and it's half the price.

Read an article yesterday about how new talk shows by George Lopez and Wanda Sykes are playing to an "underserved" television audience. Latinos and blacks can't be entertained by anyone other than their own kind? The Caucasian of European descent is the only one who's not allowed to show pride in his heritage, just as the American who shows pride in his country is simply labled as a gun-loving redneck, while those carrying flags of any other country are seen as "prideful".

Well, this was fun.

Money For Nothing

I recently read that the Clark County School District spends an estimated $12,500 per student. Per student. Test results continue to run below the national average (which isn't all that impressive in its own right) and it's not like the students are getting any smarter. If the school system is equated to the farm system that a baseball organization has, CCSD is destined for futility on par with the Pittsburgh Pirates. No hope is in sight.

I'm not going to go into great detail about why I think that is, but it just goes to show that money doesn't make you smart. You could hand The Man on The Street $100 and you can be sure he's going to do something stupid with it. He may buy food, but that food will probably be a horrendously overpriced dinner at Postrio. Maybe he'll run down to Rose's Den and buy Powerball tickets. Or maybe he'll stay closer to home and play the Megabucks machine- or the 10-teamer that looks like an absolute lock. You get the point. Opportunity wasted, and you can bet on it.

Like anything else, school is something that takes work, and if the principles (students/teachers) don't want to do the work, it's over. From what I've seen in the CCSD, the teachers are equipped and ready to do the work, while the students sit there and form one giant middle finger. I guess on the bright side, we'll never hear about a dearth of fast food workers. Our french fries are safe.

Anyway, I'm awaiting a check from my dad. Both sets of grandparents did a lousy job of taking care of their personal affairs, and my parents both had the power of attorney function. Weeks of headaches led them to the realization that they didn't want to do this to their kids, so as they get on in years they're spreading their assets around. I really don't know if my parents have a ton of money, but one of my dad's cds (certificates of deposit, for you kids dropping by for a read today) is coming due, and he'll throw that money around to the kids, money I'll happily accept. It eases the burden on my parents and fattens up my accounts. Win, meet Win.

The money won't go toward a cruise. Or a new washer/dryer. Or a remodeling of the kitchen cabinets that the wife has been on me for since I moved into the house. It will probably just be spread around to various investments. I'll get the check and spin it off like a monetary hot potato. Ok, maybe we'll go to Outback Steakhouse, but only during Happy Hour for half-priced appetizers.

I know it's boring and won't stimulate the economy, but as long as it leads to a more comfortable hammock in which to lay in the future, I'll happily grade myself an "A" for the effort. Class dismissed.

No News is Good News (Literally)

I've stated here a couple of times that no news story that contains positive information seems to be allowed to stand on its own nowadays.

NOTE: Channel 8's Denise Valedez just mentioned "these tough economic times". I wonder if there's a mandate from the news director to throw that phrase in several times a broadcast. I've even heard it during a weather segment. "War on Terror"? No thanks. "These tough economic times"? Yeah, baby. Can't get enough.

Ok, anyway...go and read the first sentence again, then come back.

There have been a couple of examples this week that again led me to think that you can't get an ounce of positive without having a gallon of crap poured all over it:

Exhibit A: The Project CityCenter development has begun hiring and staffing. Yay! Some touts said that "in these tough economic times" such a monstrous project would never move forward. It was simply a case of too much ambition, and not enough dough to bring those dreams to fruition. Whether it's 100, 75, or even 10 percent successful remains to be seen. Still, it's a badly needed shot in the arm for an area seeing record unemployment. There can be no downside, right?

Downside: With part of the project completed, there will be construction jobs lost. Ouch. Didn't see that one coming, did you? Then again, if you watch the news, I'm sure you did.

Exhibit B: The Clark County School District's student enrollment is decreasing for the first time in years. The district will have approximately 1,500 fewer students this school year. In past years, large increases in the number of students have stretched resources thin, led to critical teacher shortages, and forced students and teachers into much less comfortable portable classrooms. The district was sinking under the weight of Las Vegas' population boom. If increases in students caused such problems, reductions must alleviate same, right? Logic dictates so.

Downside: Fewer students means the district will have to cut programs, especially in it's arts departments. There's been a layoff or two. A future cellist is at risk. Enrollment didn't meet projections, so cuts needed to be made. None of these cuts came from any of the amazingly bloated school district administration. After hearing all these years about how the school district was unable to realistically sustain itself with such rapid growth, I thought that a drop of approximately three students per school would be welcome relief. My lesson: I'm a fool.

NOTE: Channel 8 on scene at a neighborhood where a man has barricaded himself in a home. I'm waiting for someone to say how much we've seen of this behavior "in these tough economic times".

Back In Session

As summer turns to fall, it means the temperatures dip (eventually), the Packers lose at home to an unheralded opponent, and the fall television season begins. Tonight, it's the season premier of "Two And A Half Men". While no "Barney Miller", I enjoy "Men" and have seen every episode. It's not overly smart, but it's consistently funny. These days when "30 Rock" is thought of as the best comedy series going (would that it were as funny as it thinks it is), that's enough.

Still, as the season premiere looms, part of me doesn't want to watch the show anymore. I'm not telling anyone else not to watch it. It would be my decision only. It all stems from recently learning that "Men" star Charlie Sheen is part of a conspiracy group that believes that the Bush Administration was behind the attacks of 9/11/01. A couple of weeks ago, Sheen went so far as to request a meeting with President Obama to discuss his theories. Thankfully, Obama was prepping for his appearance on "Tyra" or Jay Leno and didn't have any time to have his ears bent. The story didn't get much play in the media (surprise), but when I found out about it, my enthusiasm for "Men" tanked. I usually don't watch it during the week anymore (it's on twice nightly), but yesterday I caved and set my DVR for a season pass for "Men"

I'm not a boycott guy, because what I do doesn't matter on a large scale. Me not watching it this season won't keep "Men" from consistently rating in the Top 10. It will continue to run until well past the title changes to simply "Three Men". I don't agree with people who try to organize boycotts of artists they don't see eye to eye with. I think Woody Harrelson is a first-class chump, but I can't wait to see "Zombieland". Tim Robbins and Susan Sarandon are as opposite my political spectrum as possible, but I'll still gladly watch "Bull Durham", "The Player", "Atlantic City" or any other quality work that they produce. I'm sure the list of people in Hollywood that I share great ideological differences with is vast and wide. I guess I'm surprised that the Sheen story didn't get much play (except for Fox). Maybe I'm not. And again, what I think only matters to a very, very small circle of people.

I told Pumpkin about the whole Sheen affair, and while she thinks the whole "truther" movement is asinine, she wants to watch the show. I just don't think it's going to be as funny to me as it once was. Few things are.

Chapter 15, Page 1

I watched a cockroach die yesterday.

It was in the bathroom at work, next to the urinal. It was on its back and in obvious discomfort. Each time I can in, I thought it had died, only to see it wiggle its legs again. It just would die. It's kind of scary to think that a cockroach can survive a nuclear blast, yet something in the bathroom at work was powerful enough to kill it.

Anyway, today I feel like the roach that just won't die. Again yesterday, more people lost their jobs and I survived. I'm now taking the place of the person responsible for getting me the job in the first place. I'm back to waking up before the sun. I'm back to getting home in time to catch a few innings of the Cubs' game. I'm back at home for an afternoon nap with my dog. I used to love all those things but now I just want things to be as they were last Friday. I want people who only look at the bottom line to realize the simple fact that getting rid of good people to save a few bucks leads to a subpar product, then a poor performance, followed by falling ratings and dwindling  revenue. Then more firings. But they'll never understand, will they?

What's particularly frightening from a radio aspect is that there isn't any good talent rising up to take the place of those who've been let go. A baseball team can shed its high-salaried superstars to save money in hopes that their farm system prospects pay cheaper dividends down the road. In radio, there's no farm system. Good people are sent packing and there's no one in the minor leagues ready to take their place. The industry will eventually die. cause of death: suicide.

Today, I'm just sad and concerned. That's the bottom line.

Like Ross and Rachel....

I've just been taking a break from this. Everyone seems to take a vacation in August, so I've done the same with this blog. Many a time, I've thought about sitting at the keyboard and hammering out something rife with rapier wit, only to be overwhelmed with indifference minutes later.

I like that I've been getting positive feedback about this page, but that also comes with a small price; Expectations. I'd come to feel that just a small sampling of opinion wasn't sufficient enough. Every entry had to be a column worthy of a leading newspaper or it wasn't worth posting. Thus a lot of potential entries were scuttled (yeah, scuttled. Aargh!). Today, that doesn't matter much. 

Today I'm puzzled as to why stocks continue to rise right along with unemployment (though I'm not complaining). I'm confused as to why leading economic experts say we're seeing an end to the recession when the only signs they're using are that more FORECLOSED HOMES are coming off of the market. Why be optimistic about the future of the economy when the nation's debt is projected to quadruple? Or are we up to quintuple now?

Certainly, if my personal debt was to increase four-fold, I wouldn't describe myself in a better financial state than before- unless I was a complete fool. Yet, somehow, the economy is getting better as the debt grows by leaps and bounds? Kids always have more trouble with math than any other subject. Too bad elected officials seem to struggle most when the subject is Logic.

Ok, back to the cabin.