Weights and Measures

There are certain things I envision doing once I'm no longer working. Going to the gym is not one of them

I started lifting weights in my parents' basement back when I was around 15. My big brother did it, so I did it, too. Girls didn't go for the flabby types, so I wanted to be in decent shape. I lifted through my sophomore, junior, and senior years, and the number dates I got was exactly..one. Of course, I was terrified of rejection and I never actually asked a gal out, so..Anyway, I'm off the point.

During my six months of unemployment I went to Gold's Gym pretty much every day. It was done more out of boredom than anything else. It was an easy way to kill 60-90 minutes, and I felt good about myself afterward. Now that I'm back amongst the employed, I only go on weekends. Sure, I have six hours of downtime between my AM and PM shifts, but I just don't want to go when it's this hot. I have a nice cozy home, and I'm more than comfortable occupying it until the time comes to head to work once again.

Approaching 43, I'm realizing there's quickly coming that point of diminishing returns where a visit to the gym is more likely to do harm than good. Muscle strains, bulging discs, strained necks and sore pecs..all much more likely from lifting weights than staying at home. I see both men and women of an advanced age working out, and I so don't want to be them. I realize, though, that they may be there for the same reason I was there during my downtime- it's something to do. Usually, the phrase "act your age" is applied to someone who's acting childish. It can also be applied to someone who's elderly trying to look like they're in their prime. I don't want to be "that guy".

I've been perfectly content watching baseball and doing laundry this afternoon. My parents are closing in on 80, are full of energy, and haven't lifted a weight in their lives. Entering the halfway point of this story, I've realized that it's more important completing the NY Times crossword puzzle than it is another set of curls.

Nap time.

Worlds Colliding

One of my favorite scenes from "Seinfeld" is the one where George explains to Jerry the theory behind "worlds colliding". There's "Relationship George", and there's "Independent George". Independent George is threatened because of his fiance's new friendship with Elaine. The fiance (Susan) now is part of the group of George, Jerry, Elaine, and Kramer, a world that George had previously occupied without her, but now must share. His behavior is altered as a result. I now find myself in a similar situation.

Football season has begun and, between last year and now, Pumpkin has become a big Packer fan. She is wearing the apparel and watching the games. While I certainly appreciate her new found fanaticism for my favorite team, this could lead to trouble. There's "Everyday Mitch", who is pretty easygoing about everything, though slightly anal and neurotic at times. Few things bother Everyday Mitch. On the other hand, there is also "Sports Fan Mitch". This is a Mitch that Pumpkin rarely encounters, and can never completely understand. Sports Fan Mitch rants and raves. Throws things. Breaks things. Uses foul language. Simply put, Sports Fan Mitch is the complete opposite of Everyday Mitch, and this is a world my wife is choosing to enter.

We watched the Packers-Lions game at the Riviera last Sunday, and it was a typical roller coaster ride of emotions. The Packers got off to a great start and everything was well. Smiling, laughing, kissing. So much fun. Detroit played their way back into the game, even taking a one point lead in the 4th quarter. This lead to tense moments, and the muttering of profanities that are normally said at much higher volumes. I could tell Pumpkin was uncomfortable, but it was more about my change in behavior than the changing momentum of the game. I had to adjust my normal behavior or she would become upset. Sports Fan Mitch had to morph into Everyday Mitch, at the very point in the game where the Packers' fortunes seemed darkest.

Then the Lions became the Lions again and the Pack rolled on to victory. Still, after the game, I felt the need to apologize for my behavior when things were tight. Essentially, I was apologizing for simply being myself. One of my selves, anyway. She said she totally understood, but I don't think that's possible. When you've lived and died with a team for 30 years, it's impossible for someone just stepping on the bus to understand. You're not ready to race with Dale Jr. just because you've mastered the finer points of the ten speed bike.

"A George divided against itself, cannot stand". We'll see what happens to the House of Mitch. The Cowboys come calling this weekend.

Coffee Talk

My parents are in town until Tuesday, so that explains the calm in my blogging storm. I'll tell you what, if you're ever feeling old, the quickest cure is to either visit your parents, or have your parents visit you. I'll be 43 in December, but my parents still treat me like I'm 14 (or younger). I don't feel comfortable having a beer in front of them. I feel bad if a profanity falls from my lips near them. In spite of the fact that I'm married, I'm a homeowner, and I have some money in the bank, I still have a hard time shaking the feeling that my parents feel I'm barely keeping my head above water. I had hoped that surviving six months of unemployment would've created more confidence in them regarding me, but if anything, the reverse is true.

Anyway, the plan today is to gamble, eat, and take them over to Mamma Mia. I got two -for -one tickets. No doubt they're proud of me for that.

EXTRA: Watching coverage of the "day after" Ike. Again, you can't help but feel that the news networks are disappointed at the lack of destruction. In fact, it could be argued that the train crash in Los Angeles was a bigger news story (CNN was covering that while Fox was all about Ike. Advantage CNN). The pictures that I'm seeing look like Florida on a typical summer day when storms fire up in the late afternoon. Or, for that matter, Las Vegas during monsoon season. Post Katrina hysteria has made the networks proclaim every hurricane that hits the mainland as the potential "storm of the century". Ike hit land as a Category Two, and since the storms are measured on a scale of one to five, claiming it as "storm of the century" only works (slightly) because the century is only nine years in. Remember though, Katrina and Rita were both only three years ago, and it's going to be tough for them to be dethroned. Still, you know the networks are rooting for it to happen. Maybe next time. Anything that distracts attention away from politics is fine by me.

Hurricane coverage has just been interrupted for...a political ad. Damn it.

Paninis and Pablum

The whole point to this entry was supposed to have been how much I hated lunch yesterday. I was meeting up with a friend I hadn't seen in months, and she was bringing her newborn. Five months old. We had lunch at a restaurant I would qualify as something between Fazzoli's and Olive Garden. In other words, not a place you take your infant to. The lunch would mark the first time I'd ever had lunch with a baby since, well, that baby was me. My blog was all written out in my head. Then then damnedest thing happened.

I had......fun.

The baby was cute, cuddly and, best of all, quiet. He (Luke) seemed to warm up quickly to me and everyone got along. I was allowed to catch up with my friend on our separate lives without the constant interruptions that I had expected. All in all, a downright pleasant affair. I left just before diaper changing. I know when to make an exit.

This in no way means means that I've having a fatherly "itch" or anything like that. The baby was very cute, and we had fun together, but it was for all of 75 minutes. I can't imagine 24/7/365. I know why my mom wants more grandbabies, though. She can get them all riled up, spoil the heck out of them, and then leave, letting my sister deal with the consequences. It's kind of what I did yesterday, without the spoiling. I got a lot of smiles out of the kid, which can only mean good things regarding his future intelligence.

See, a baby, and then another baby, etc....then teenagers...seem to take up all of your time and your energy, your concerns, and your wallet. It sounds selfish, but I want to focus my energy on myself and Pumpkin. And Maverick. I love the freedom I have. That's the thing. It's not the cost of raising a child that scares me. It's about losing freedom that I have. Yeah, that sounds selfish doesn't it?

A child has been described to me as both the best and worst thing that can happen to a person. I think the best thing for me would be to make funny faces and crazy sounds and make a baby laugh- every five months or so.

I, Scofflaw

Thunderstorms loom, so once again, I put my life on the line to type. For you.

Something happened to me for the first time in eight years today. Can you guess what it was?

a) broke a bone
b) stopped by a cop
c) bought a car

Correct answer: B

Yep. Stopped by a cop this morning. Thankfully, it wasn't in the SuperCommuter van. It was on the way to work. I made a right-hand turn and travelled up to the first light, which was red. While waiting for the light to change, a cop pulled up behind me. Moments later, on came the flashing lights. Really, I thought he had gotten a call to tackle something else, but when I pulled over to let him pass, he pulled right over behind me.

I knew my plates were legal, and that my insurance was up to date. I didn't have any warrants that could be used against me. I was going to be the least interesting person this guy was going to deal with all day. So what could it be? What could I have done to cause an officer of the law, an important soldier in the thin blue line defending the valley- to pull over someone like me. Thankfully, he didn't ask me if I knew why I was being pulled over. Honestly, I had no idea. He came right out with it:

"Sir, you did a rolling stop over there on Agate (Street) when you turned onto Las Vegas Boulevard".

A rolling stop? I had 100 different responses to that, but refrained from being the smart-ass guy. This had to be a warning, right? Getting a ticket for a rolling stop? I'd be the laughing stock of traffic court. C'mon, give The SuperCommuter a break. After taking my license, registration and proof of insurance he waked back to the squad, giving me a couple of minutes to stew about it. More tongue was bitten off as he walked back to my car. After he handed me back my stuff, he let me off with a warning. No harm, no foul. Still, I was a little annoyed by the experience.

When I made my turn, the cop had to have been a quarter to a half mile to the south of me. At no time was anyone's safety compromised. If there was an oncoming car, I wouldn't have turned. I know from years of experience that plenty of dangers lurk on the road before the sun comes up. Today, I was not one of them. I saw 500 violations on the roads this morning that were more serious than mine. I'll chalk today up to a case of a bored cop with nothing to do who decided to kill some of his time by wasting mine. I sure hope it wasn't at someone else's expense

Cleaning My Attic

I'm tired of politics. I wish the election were tomorrow. I think everything that's needed to be said and done has been said and done. It's like having an NFL pre-season that lasts six months. It makes no sense. Working for an all-news station means, though, that I will be hip deep in all the action right on through the first Tuesday in November. I'm tired of talking heads. I'm tired of the typing heads. That said, here's a quick two-cents worth from me. Then I'm done with it

I find it interesting on how so many people are cool with the fact that the Leader of the Free World could possibly be someone with essentially entry-level political experience. No other job has that potential.

Those who won't vote for a presidential candidate because of who the VP selection is really need to stay home on Election Day. That's like deciding you're not going to go see Van Halen because you don't like the opening act.

If Obama loses, all we'll hear is that America "wasn't ready for a black president". Never mind that America will have chosen the overwhelmingly more qualified candidate (which doesn't happen as often as it should). The media will simply focus on the color of his skin (Remember, Obama's mom is white, so we call him "Half-rican American" around here). That's easier to do than taking the time to examine the facts.

The fact that people are saying that Sarah Palin should stay home and tend to the babies offends on two levels of sexism: one for saying that the woman must stay home and raise the children, implying that- two: a man is incapable of raising a family while the woman is away. As far as I know, the Palins are happily married and the husband can stay at home. Am I missing something?

Still, the pick of Palin wasn't motivated by anything else other than to sway disenchanted fans of Hilary Clinton who aren't happy voting for Obama. That's all it could be. If this were the workaday world, the promotion of Palin to second-in-command would be met with sex discrimination lawsuits until the cows come home.

Women are much tougher on women than men are on men. Guys are happy for other guys when they do well. Women are jealous. A guy gets together with a hot gal? High fives all around the bar. A woman picks up a hot guy? Women think "what a whore". Women aren't likely to vote for a McCain/Palin ticket simply because a woman is a part. In fact, it might be a tougher sell. And Oprah likes Obama, you know.

One quick point: The presidents during my life have been: LBJ, Nixon, Ford, Carter, Reagan, Bush, Clinton, and Bush II. I don't know how my life would've turned out differently if McGovern had been elected over Nixon, Mondale instead of Reagan, Dole instead of Clinton, Gore instead of Bush II, etc. I'm sure my parents would've still been teachers, my upbringing decidedly middle class and happy. Does it really matter who's at the top? In this day and age of the suitcase nuke, probably more than ever. So, does the guy from essentially the political mailroom win the key to the golden throne? My answer was yes two months ago and my answer is yes today.*

*not an endorsement

Eye On The Storm

I love watching weather coverage. It could be of tornadoes, blizzards, hurricanes, whatever. If there's live coverage of heavy weather, I'm watching it. That's why I was so excited for Hurricane Gustav to make landfall. Certainly I didn't want New Orleans devastated again (nor the oil rigs in the Gulf damaged), but there's something about watching potential disasters as they're happening that holds a twisted allure for me. The hurricane was scheduled to make landfall around 8am pdt on Monday, and having the day off of work meant it was all set up perfectly for a day full of destruction. That said, Gustav was a disappointment.

There's never been a more routine hurricane in recorded history. It rained a lot. Lots of wind. Some flooding. Portions of rooftops blew away. There was absolutely nothing special about it. Oh, and you know the networks were hoping for Katrina 2. They wanted chaos, looting, swift water rescues. I don't blame them a bit. Ratings were through the (leaky) roof for Katrina and Rita coverage. I split my time between CNN and Fox, and both were equally good, though I got a little tired of hearing how the levees might break (which they didn't) and how oil production would be hurt (which it wasn't). I loved how the CNN anchor even had his sleeves rolled up at the desk like he was about to throw sand bags around a nursing home. Compelling TV, even if there wasn't really a payoff at the end. Then again, with oil prices dropping because the damage wasn't as severe as anticipated, maybe there is a payoff after all.