Satisfaction (?) For Sale

As I type, thunder rumbles above. You shouldn't work on the computer when there's a thunderstorm, so I guess I'm taking my life in my hands by posting now. I'm actually taking a risk! I'm not getting any perverse thrill out of it, either.

Pumpkin brought up something this weekend that I'm having a hard time shaking. I've never bought anything for fun. Never. I'm talking something like a big ticket item, not about grabbing a Twix bar at the checkout aisle. Pumpkin used to be the type that would buy something if she wanted to, and deal with how much it was setting her back later. These days, most of her concern is with her monthly car payment. The car was a fun purchase for her. Empowering, even. Still, it's equal to 60 "really fun" purchases a month.

About the only thing I have that could be considered a fun purchase is my 56-inch TV. It's gorgeous. It dominates the living room, and is probably bigger than the room allows. I was endorsing an electronics store at the time I bought it, and paid for it with a combination of gift cards and money paid by the endorser. It really didn't cost me anything. Thus, not fun.

My computer is a necessity and was only purchased after the one that I owned for six years had wheezed its last breath. I can't really count it as a fun purchase.

My car? Back in 1999, Nissan supplied me with a 2000 Maxima to drive around in for 45 days. I had the option to buy at the end of that time period. I didn't even have to talk about it on the station, just drive it. At the end of the period, I bought it instead of going back to my old Buick Century that has just passed the 160 thousand mile mark. I'm not the type that thinks that a car can be considered a "fun" purchase, not when there were 60 payments attached to it. The level of fun drops exponentially with each payment.

The house? Obviously a necessity. Pumpkin and I were on the road to matrimonial independence, and renting seemed to go against that grain.

Looking around the house, I don't see anything else (of mine) that I bought for fun. The interesting things that make our house unique were suggested by or purchased by pumpkin. Her decorating touch has saved this house from resembling my college dorm room, circa 1985. Why don't I buy things? Even back when I was making more money I shied away from purchases. I can tell you I have exactly $40 in my wallet, and I hope to make that last until Saturday. Is this a disorder? I guess I'm just terrified of having nothing....yet I never buy anything! Wouldn't it make more sense if I bought stuff to ensure that I would always have something?

Raining now down here. My afternoon drive might be more eventful than I like. Ok, it stopped. Nope, still going.

I want a laptop. I want a killer grill (preferably a charcoal/gas combo). I want a nice little gazebo for the back yard, so we can use our killer grill. I want a brand new shower head. I want marble countertops. I want digital cable in all the rooms. I want 2-3 more dogs. I want more nice clothes. See, I want stuff like anyone else. I just don't need it to be happy, I guess. Still, I'd like to see for myself if that's true. I really can't be easy to live with.

Killing Ourselves to Live

I recently subscribed to a magazine called Best Life, which is a spin off of Men's Health (which I also receive). It's full of tidbits and advice on how to look better, feel better, and just lead a, well, better life. At 42, I think I'm taking better care of myself than ever. I got through six months of unemployment without becoming a raging, degenerate gambler/sot. One of the things I did do regualrly was go to the gym. Part of the reason was that I wanted to get in better shape, with the other reason being that I had plenty of time to kill before the wife returned home. I'd put in about an hour a day. That doesn't sound like much, but when you get to a certain age, you have to realize the point of diminishing returns before it's too late. I'm not going to be posing at Venice Beach anytime soon, but I'm also not going to be the guy in the "before" ad, either.

Still, the more I try to take better care of myself, the more I realize that it may be a riskier proposition than a sedentary lifestyle. Witness this little gem from the aforementioned Best Life magazine: "Recent studies link multi-vitamin use to an increased risk of cancer. Harvard Men's Health Watch is suggesting that the average man stop taking a daily multi-vitamin until more research is available....the studies suggest that multi-vitamin use leads to a general increase in the risk of prostate cancer and link the intake of folic acid to men's colon cancer". Oh.

Last month, I read an article on the benefits of folic acid. Now, it's going to kill me, and painfully at that. I've taken a multi-vitamin faithfully for years. I've taken extra doses of Vitamin C. I rarely get sick. Now that I read this, I'm left to wonder if I would've been better off just leaving everything as is. This little multi-vitamin linked to cancer note is just the latest absurdity among so-called healthy foods. Remember the bagged spinach paniclast year? How about the recent link of e-coli to tomatoes (and hot peppers now, too)? It seems like the healthier we try to live, the more it's making us sick. I remember when I would drink two protein shakes a day because it was supposed to make me stronger and increase my workout production. The only thing that gained in size during that period was my gut.

I can't remember the last time a frozen pizza was recalled, so that's what we're having for dinner tonight. With cheesy breadsticks. And soda. Maybe two sodas. It'll be by far my least healthiest dinner this week, but I'm willing to bet it will also be the safest.

OFF TOPIC: Looking at all the people lined up nationwide to get the new iPhones, tell me again with a straight face how the economy is in the tank. Please?

Resting and Restless

Slow morning out on the roads today. As KDWN's new "SuperCommuter", I'm dispatched to accidents, mostly those along the freeways. Once I'm on scene I'm able to give the fellas back at base camp a clearer picture of how bad the accident is and how it's affecting the flow of traffic. Slow days for me mean that the drivers are doing well, so it's kind of ghoulish that I actually hope for crashes. Truthfully, it makes the morning go by faster if I'm being sent somewhere than if I'm just driving loops around the valley. There wasn't much to speak about this morning. My main concern this morning was figuring out how I can bring both water and coffee into the van with me. There's only one cup holder. This could be a problem. I need the coffee on a day like this.

There's rejoicing in Las Vegas over the cool weekend ahead. Upper 90's are forecast, with a chance for rain. Still, though the temps get cooler theoretically, it's more uncomfortable with the increased humidity. Plus, the rain brings out the inner "idiot driver" in all of us, making my gig much more dangerous. Pumpkin and I had a talk about our future in this town over the weekend. We've agreed to stay here until the end of the year, and then start giving serious consideration to heading north to Wisconsin. We'd just kind of thrown it around casually like a backyard game of catch, in the past. Now, it's time to get serious. By 1/1/09, I'll have more of a fix on this new job of mine, which is currently part-time. Pumpkin likes her job, but is in no way married to it.

We both realize this is probably a reaction to the hot weather, something we've really grown to dislike. The next five months will mean the weather here eventually cools off and becomes pleasant, while the weather in Wisconsin turns bitterly cold and snowy. Will our attitude change in December, when it's 70 here and 15 there? Is it more than just the weather? It has to be, right? I don't think anyone who's lived here or there will deny that the quality of life for the average Nevadan pales in comparison to the average Wisconsinite. I'm learning through recent trips back there that there are/were so many things I didn't know existed. In Las Vegas, the only different things I seem to do is change where I gamble.

Pumpkin works with a couple of gals who have just been able to pick up and move, and I envy that. Funny how I, as a radio guy, don't seem to have that in me. Maybe I just need to try it and see if it's me.

And, as a Wisconsinite, yes I'm tired of the whole Brett Favre story. Point: Las Vegas.

Just Another July

Fires rage in California while excessive heat warnings blanket Southern Nevada. Just for good measure, we have a weekly story about kids being left in hot cars. Seven kids to be exact. What does all this mean? Simple.

It's summer.

Nothing more, nothing less. No need to get excited, no need to get outraged. Wasted emotions, both. I'll go out on a limb and say there hasn't been a summer without burning brush. As far as the temperatures go, it gets hot in the summer. TV stations are rolling out their advice pieces for beating the beat. (My favorite; Stay inside!). Though it hasn't happened yet, I'd bet dollars to donuts that the east coast will be blanketed in a killer heatwave before the end of August. Over/under on heat deaths: 5. This will be followed by people looking to assign blame, even though people have died from the heat every year the planet has been around. It's as unpleasant as it is certain. If these events didn't occur, then we'd all have reason to be concerned. Still, we'll hear nonsense about global warming, foolishness about how the economy is keeping people from turning on their air conditioning (hence leading to their death), and useless reminders about what damage the heat can do if we lock children/animals inside a hot car. With all that's going on, I don't need a calendar to tell me that it's July.

Just tell me why if the economy is so bad, why did I have to wait an hour at Outback Steakhouse last week?

One more question: Has there ever been a time when intelligence has counted for less than it does now? Talk amongst yourselves, please.

Rock Bottom

Well, that didn't take long, did it?

Another radio ratings trend is out, and KWNR is, in the words of the immortal Les Nessman, "sucking canal water". It's been seven months since the Clear Channel braintrust decided that the station would be better off letting me go from the morning show. In that seven month period, the morning show has gone from 5th in the ratings, all the way down to 18th. That's something else. Really. I mean, that's one serious drop. You can actually attempt to scare listeners off and not do as badly at the end of the day as KWNR has. In a way, you almost have to respect how quickly the station has fallen from relevance. You can't rely on music to make you a successful radio station these days. The personalities have to be there to make hearing the same songs every day bearable to the listener, and in giving the heave ho to well-liked personalities like myself, Brooks O' Brian, and the Stunt Runt, KWNR is drenched in the sewage of its just desserts.

And it's not like Coyote Country is picking up KWNR's listeners. They're up slightly, but it's not one of those things where you can say, "ah, they've gone from here to there". Nope. One person's opinion here, but the Decline and Fall of KWNR should be exhibit A for the argument that personalities heard on the radio are more important to a station's success than ever. Preferably local personalities. On KWNR, the most successful personality these days is Country Chuck on Sunday morning. To my knowledge, Chuck is left alone to do what he does best, and his show flourishes. Why management can't see fit to do that with its other veteran personalities is easy to understand- they have to do something to justify their lofty title and the hefty salary that Clear Channel pays them. Guys like Mark Stevens and Bob Bishop have been successful in the business for a combined 50 years or so. They know what works. Leave them alone. Why is this so difficult to understand?

Another one of CCLV's stations, The Party, has brought in a couple of national shows to their lineup- Ryan Seacrest and Kidd Kraddick. Seacrest is best known for hosting American Idol. He has a radio show in L.A. that deals mostly with the world of celebrity gossip. Kraddick has had morning show success for years elsewhere, most recently in Dallas. Bully for both of them. Syndicated personalities on a music station haven't translated to big rating in Las Vegas, but that's not going to stop Clear Channel from pushing them upon increasingly disinterested listeners. Those of us in the programming side of the business know what's going to fail, but far too often it's the sales department that is running things, and once the tail wags the dog, it's time to duck and cover.

Back to KWNR's morning show for a second. Their rating in May was a 2.3, which placed them 18th in the market. 18th. That makes them the lowest rated morning show among the full power FMs. The demise is complete. They now officially have nowhere to go but up. The fall was swift, brutal, and beautiful. It was also preventable. The fact that those not responsible for the whole debacle won't be held accountable at the end of the day is what's most sad to me.

Still, I slept like a baby last night.

Pinch Hitting

I just picked up this new Diet Pepsi Max at the store. "With ginseng and caffeine", screams the can. I'll fully admit, I have no idea what ginseng is supposed to do. I know that caffeine is supposed to give me a little energy boost, which I need today. After half a can of this stuff, if someone told me that ginseng was Japanese for "pee more frequently", I'd totally get it.

This morning I filled in for Mark Thomas in the big chair of the KDWN traffic department. That meant reports every six minutes on KDWN between 5-8:30, and four taped reports an hour for KKLZ. Safe to say, it's the first major broadcast work that I've done since December. My current job as Supercommuter for KDWN means reports of a shorter variety, and this morning gave a chance to show that I still have what it takes. I think it went pretty well. Letter grade: B. If I was a quarterback, my rating would've been in the low 90's.

It's a dizzying time, the morning shift. I'm constantly checking websites, monitoring TV cameras, eavesdropping on other reports to check what I have versus what he has, swapping out sponsors for both stations without confusing what station has which sponsor (the biggest challenge for me this morning)....you never have time to take a break. I was mostly ignored by co-workers during the shift, and I wasn't brought into the boss' office afterward, so I'll take their lack of reaction to mean that I was able to handle the load. Considering how busy the morning was (fatal accident causing a closure, major construction delays, a boatload of surface street accidents), to be able to handle most of what was thrown at me was quite satisfying. Still, I don't know if I'd want to do that gig day after day after day. Then again, I took one helluva nap today, so who knows?

I rarely hit the bathroom this morning, but I'm more than making up for it this afternoon. Acesulfame Potassium always does that to me.

Down Time

I have a lot of time on my hands between when I get home at 8:30 and when I head out for my afternoon shift at 4. Lots and lots of time. I'm still trying to get into the habit of a double shift. The goal is to be able to quickly hit the gym, grab some lunch and take a nap all before I go back for part two. So far, I've only been able to accomplish the "grab some lunch" part. I'll blame the heat. That's easier to do that just admitting I'm lazy.

I enjoy the morning shift much more than the afternoon, for a couple of reasons. One, I've become a morning person. Waking up at 4:30 means I get to sleep in 90 minutes later than I did when I worked at KWNR. The morning shift requires reports every six minutes, so there's not a lot of down time. And, I get to listen to the KDWN morning news program, so I can keep up with what's going on, one sound bite at a time.

I'd love to be blissfully ignorant, but after trying that approach for the first six months of the year, I can reasonably say that it's something that's hard for me to accomplish. I like to know what's going on. If you don't know what's going on, you really can't have an opinion. Oh, I guess you could, but it would be wildly uninformed and you'd end up sounding stupid, so it's best to stay quiet. That said, being surrounded by news comes at a price.

Most of the news is crappy. Good news pieces rarely make it on. If it bleeds it leads. If the economy is tanking, it's top ranking. That's the way it always is and always will be. Even when the news is good these days, it's positioned in such a way that it ends up a negative. Example: Iraq. Casualties are way down. If they were high, it would be all over the paper. Now that the deaths are low? Let's instead focus on how the death toll in Afghanistan is now higher. Let's switch the focus. This was the standard line this week, and every organization was sniffing it up.

Want another? The economy. It's no doubt that the high price of gas is affecting people, primarily the ones who drive big s.u.v.s and pickups. My sympathy for them is small, as the gas mileage numbers on the vehicle sticker are the biggest ones you'll see. The price is also affecting mass transit, so we're seeing an increase in food and airline travel. If the gas price was $3 a gallon, I doubt that we'd be hearing repeatedly that the economy is in the tank. Remarkable, really, as five years ago, thoughts of $3 a gallon gasoline would've led to riots in the streets.

Anyway, before I get too sideways, let me get to the point. Say a gas tank averages 15 gallons. If the gas price is $4 instead of $3, you're paying $15 dollars more each time you fill up. Fill up once a week, and you're out an extra $60. Now, if a loss of $60 a month is crippling to you, you've got to look in the mirror and quiz yourself as why you haven't been able to do a better job of saving. I'm just tired of hearing how bad everything is. People in other countries would (probably literally) kill to be a part of this bad economy. You have to cut back on your Starbucks? I'm sure your expanding waistband can handle the loss. You have to eat at home? Perish the thought. You've had to cut back on your cell phone plan? Sucks to be you. God forbid you have to resort to.....gulp....dial up!

I guess if you hear something repeated enough, it starts to sink in as truth. I'm guessing the next "good news" story will be dealing with the shrinking obesity rate. The "bad news"? People aren't buying as much food because of.......(Tympani!)

THE BAD ECONOMY!!!

Wait for it....

THIS JUST IN: Watching Sherry Swensk on Channel 8, talking aboout how hot the holiday weekend is going to be. For whatever reason she throws this out: "people should be running their air conditioner, but they can't afford it"

Huh? They can't? Where's that story been? So far, the number of people who have died in Las Vegas due to the heat this year has been zero. Now, the bad economy isn't just keeping food off the table, it's flat out killing us.

I'm now watching ESPN.